piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
