Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
