I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
