What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i've created a new STD.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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