I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
