its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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