Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
