ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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