I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
