that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
are you so shy because you have an std?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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