Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
