I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
