Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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