I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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