Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
