i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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