let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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