idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
