I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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