I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
