i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
