this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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