one two three fourrrrnication!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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