you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i think im in europe. pls send help
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
