i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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