Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
