now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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