jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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