I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
