i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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