i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
