Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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