is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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