conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just had sex on a roof
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
