problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
