hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
3pm strippers are depressing
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
