Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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