Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I FOUND THE LEGS
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
