Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he fucked my hip out of place.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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