I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
