i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
