Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
