he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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