Michael Bay diarrhea
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
