so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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