one two three fourrrrnication!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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