Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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