Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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