haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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