So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
