The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
