Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
