none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
