Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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